Ponytail Picks #14 - Class
The bell rang. We’re seated with our new shirts on, facing the board. What will our culture teach us this week? Will it help us raise our living conditions or keep us in our place?
LISTEN
Songs for a School Day
“School” - Supertramp
“Don’t forget your books,
you know you got to learn the golden rule.”
“Old School” - DANGERDOOM
“Making up a miracle flow over a cereal bowl.”
“Teachers” - Daft Punk
“Van Helden in the house,
Armando in the house,
Sir John's in the house, yeah”
“History Lesson” - Minutemen
“A hundred thousand years ago before legends were ever told
Homo Sapien stood erect, mind empty and mind fresh.”
“School” - Nirvana
“Won't you believe it? It's just my luck.
No recess.”
“Miss Otis Regrets” - Ella Fitzgerald
“She's unable to lunch today.”
“The Sound of Science” - The Beastie Boys
“I got science for any occasion,
postulating theorems formulating equations.”
“Road to Peace” - Tom Waits
“He told his mother that he had a test that day
Out along the road to peace.”
“Typewrite Lesson” - Cornelius
“Try not to look at the keys while typing,
and don’t worry about mistakes—they will disappear with practice.”
“Black Math” - The White Stripes
“Well, listen master, can you answer a question?
Is it the fingers or the brain
that you're teaching the lesson?”
“What a Wonderful World” - Sam Cooke
“Don't know much about algebra
Don't know what a slide rule is for.”
“Sunblind” - Fleet Foxes
“I'm going out for a weekend
I'm gonna borrow a Martin or Gibson
With Either/Or and The Hex for my Bookends
Carrying every text that you've given.”
-AK
WATCH
Classroom Scenes Combating Comformity
Talking about social class and conformity (and scenes about social class and comformity) can get preachy pretty fast, so—much like the tunes above—I’m going to let each of them preach/speak for themselves.
Without further (not farther) ado…
Half Nelson - “What Is History?”
“If I’m part of the machine, then so are you.”
Donnie Darko - “Fear and Love”
“You can’t just lump things into two categories—things aren’t that simple.”
The Great Debaters - “I, Too, Sing America”
“There’s a revolution going on.”
Finding Forrester - “Further”
“Are you challenging me, Mr. Wallace?”
Mona Lisa Smile - “It’s Art!”
“There’s no wrong answer. There’s also no textbook telling you what to think.”
Dead Poets Society - “A Barbaric Yawp”
“You can’t yawp sitting down.”
-AK
Does this authority-challenging post inspire further reading?
Check out these past posts and keep that energy flowing.
READ
Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger
My favourite class is Ms. Jewls’ class, which is on the uppermost story of Wayside School. Some background, for those who are unfamiliar with this school:
The author of the book filled with stories about Wayside School is named Louis. The yard teacher of Wayside School is named Louis. I will let Louis provide some more helpful information:
Wayside School is a thirty-story building with one room on each floor, except there is no nineteenth story.
Mrs. Jewels teaches the class on the thirtieth story.
Miss Zarves teaches the class on the nineteenth story. There is no Miss Zarves.
Wayside’s principal Mr. Kidswatter is a beacon of leadership. Observe his wise counsel for his students on the first day of school:
It has been a while since you’ve had to rush up and down the stairs, and I want to make sure there are no accidents. So remember this simple rule: When you go up the stairs, stay to your right. When you go down the stairs, stay to your left. That way, there should be no problems.
Mrs. Jewls’ class is full of kooky kids like Myron, Eric, Todd, Sharie, Ron, Joy, Eric, Jenny, and Eric, and on Pet Day, there was also a kid named Billy, who is Eric’s goat, and Ralphie, who is Todd’s baby brother. Todd was Joy’s dog, and Dog was Ron’s cat. Eric also brought a cat named Billy. There were a few other dogs too, like Billy, who was brought by Eric. Needless to say, things got a little confusing when Mrs. Jewls was trying to keep track of everything:
“What’s your pet, Myron?”
“Your pet’s a turtle,” said Sharie.
“What?” asked Mrs. Jewls.
“What is Jenny’s pet,” said Sharie.
“Jenny’s pet is a dog!” said Mrs. Jewls. “What’s his name, Jenny?”
Jenny nodded.
Other pets that were brought to class included Yorpet the turtle, What the dog, and Fido, who was an orange brought by Stephen, who didn’t have a pet.
Sometimes funny things like this happen in Mrs. Jewls’ class, and sometimes they don’t, like that time when Paul was hypnotized by the school counselor:
“When Leslie says the word ‘pencil,’ her ears will turn into candy… and you will try to eat the candy.”
A short while after this, Leslie broke her pencil in class.
“Oh great!” she complained.
“What’s the matter?” asked Jenny.
… Leslie showed her the broken pencil point.
Leslie went to go sharpen her pencil but when she put it back down on her desk, it rolled off.
“Hey, where’d it go?”
“Where’d what go?” asked Paul.
“There it is,” said Jenny. “Under Paul’s desk.”
“What’s under my desk?”
“I’ll get it,” said Eric.
And that was that.
The kids in Mrs. Jewls’ class don’t always get along. Once, when Mrs. Jewls was away, they had a substitute teacher named Miss Nogard who had a third ear on the top of her head that could hear people’s thoughts. Miss Nogard was a heartbroken and bitter woman who used this special ear to listen to the kids’ deepest insecurities in order to turn them against each other.
Just when it looked like all the fun in the class had been lost forever, though, a new kid arrived who saved the day. It wasn’t a goat, or Todd’s brother, but Mrs. Jewls’ new baby named Mavis. Miss Nogard was not pleased when Mrs. Jewls returned, and she initially planned to “accidentally” drop Mavis out of the 30th story window. But then she became curious as to what a baby’s thoughts sounded like. So she held Mavis close and listened…
It is impossible to describe, in words, exactly what Miss Nogard heard when she listened to Mavis’ brain.
Babies don’t think in words.
Miss Nogard heard pure love. And trust. And faith. With no words to get in the way.
It was a love so strong that it dissolved away all the bitterness that had been caked around her heart.
She opened her eyes.
These are just a few examples of the strange and wonderful magic that is present in my favourite class, which is Mrs. Jewls’ class, on the 30th floor of Wayside School.
-JB
That wraps up this week. Next time, we take a decidedly darker tone as we explore our culture’s thoughts and ideas about
As usual, your lists inspire thoughts of further additions. Alice Cooper's "Smokin' in the Boy's Room" and Pink Floyd's "The Wall" were anthems of my generation and at the end of the school year Alice Cooper adds "School's Out for Summer..." It seems that education [or rebelling against the structures of it] are the themes of some of the greatest films of all time. You mention so many classic films. As an educator, Dead Poet's Society is still one of my favourite films of all time. Rest in peace Robin Williams.